Where Are The Men - Part 3
Made To Be A Man
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them Genesis 1:27
From the very beginning God made men and women different. They will always be different. Physically, emotionally, socially and mentally, men are men and women are women. That’s God’s design, and no matter how our post Christian secular society tries to redefine their roles, men and women will still be men and women.
This difference impacts the spiritual life as well. In fact, I believe that this is a major component in why there are so few men in church and so many women.
Men have a different chemistry than women. They have a hormone called testosterone, and it’s flowing in the blood. They have lots of it. And sometimes, by the way they act, I wonder if they have too much.
Testosterone makes a man manly, masculine and aggressive. It moves him to accept a challenge without backing down. It makes him say, "I’m not lost, I’ll find the way all by myself without asking for help". Testosterone makes it difficult for a man to come to church and sit still for hours. Even young boys are sometimes too hyperactive and run into problems when starting school while little girls do much better.
I haven’t seen any actual data, but I read that testosterone levels are highest in the morning and lower in the evening. If that true, then Sunday morning is the worse time for men.
Women have a hormone called serotonin. It calms you down. It gives women more self control and makes them less aggressive. It gives them time to think a little deeper and act a little less impulsively.
When men get angry, they can fight it out, shake hands and be friends again. But when women get angry, they hold on to it for years. You never know anything is going on, and all the while they are waiting on the right time to get you back. It’s the serotonin.
God knew that there would be conflicts in the church. And in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because their widows were neglected in the daily ministration.
Then the twelve called the multitude of the disciples unto them, and said, It is not reason that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables. Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business Acts 6: 1-3. Here is an example of a complaint where the Grecian believers saw what they perceived to be prejudicial treatment against their women. So how did the church handle this conflict? Like men or like women?
Well, they got it out in the open, resolved it and kept on going. The men handled the problem and the church continued to grow and increase.
The church world today is different. They feel like Christians are supposed to be humble and walk in love. So they handle things passively, like women. This results in a lot of gossiping and backbiting. Men can’t handle that; those hormones are telling his brain to "get this out in the open, fight it out, resolve it and go on".
I beseech Euodias, and beseech Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord Philippians 4:2. Here is another example of a conflict involving two women. These women had labored much with Paul in the gospel. Clearly, they must have been godly women that loved the Lord. But they held on to a grudge so much so that Paul begged them to get it straight. I hope they did, but serotonin has a poor history of problem resolution.
The bible instructs us to not let the sun go down on our wrath. Unresolved conflicts hinder church growth and progress. If you want men to leave the church, keep unresolved conflicts going.
Why is this so relevant? What is the significance of handling conflicts and keeping men in the church? Mainly because men are followed. When a man is sold out for Christ, he brings his whole house, tithes and all. When the jailer asked Paul what must I do to be saved, he brought his whole house see Acts 16: 30-32. When a woman gets saved and her husband doesn’t, the family follows a much lower percentage of the time.
You say, "But I know a lot of successful women pastors with large congregations". I’m not speaking against any woman doing anything for God. I’ve attended Joyce Meyers meetings because I admire the work that she is doing and I believe that God is using her. It took some sacrifice for me to be able to get to her meeting but I made it and sowed my seed. But for the most part, Joyce is popular because she speaks practically to the heart of saved and unsaved women. The needs they have extend beyond race and color. God gave her the platform and she uses it.
There are women conferences going on all the time. Many of them are hosted by the most popular women speakers and motivators. These women have great verbal skills and are very entertaining. But this nation, from a cultural standpoint, follows secularism. Do you know why? Because that’s where the hearts of the men are. And men will follow men.
The feminist says that there is no difference between men and women. That’s a lie. Even their brain is made different. The communication part of the female brain is bigger and more developed than a male. For that reason a woman can read better, talk better and has a bigger vocabulary. She reads the church bulletin cover to cover, whereas, if there are no pictures, a man may not even look at it. When church is over, women stand around and laugh and talk, whereas men are ready to go watch competitive sports or some other adventure.
I came from a denomination where the longer you preach, the more anointed you are. But long talking is the least effective way to get a message out. If you want your message to be received, remembered and appreciated, be short and sweet.
The men of this nation need to step up and turn things around. Young boys are growing up and women are teaching them spiritual things. But soon the testosterone is going to kick in and that boy is going to break free. When Jesus was twelve years old, he walked away from his family, and it was three days before they even realized he wasn’t with them. When they found him and his mother confronted him, he told her, "Didn’t you know I was about my Father’s business?"
Men can adequately challenge young men. They will follow a man but they will rebel against a woman. In fact, unless they are reached early enough by a positive male role model, chances are they will rebel against religion, law and rules.
Men are project oriented whereas women like programs. The church is full of programs and ongoing repetitious events. Give a man a project and he will plan it start to finish, complete it, conquer it and feel good about it. Then he’s done and in need of something even greater. But men will never be successfully blended into church programology; it is just not his nature.
The bible lets us know that we are in a war. Paul said, "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand Ephesians 6:12. I believe Paul used this to challenge men. Because the concept of war is imprinted in the male psyche. They know deep within that we are fighting for keeps. Jesus said that you can’t spoil the house until you bind the strong man see Matthew 12:29. In other words, a man will fight to the bitter end for what he loves and believes in.
If a man doesn’t feel that a threat is real, he won’t fight. Jesus knew from eternity that he had to fight the enemy in order to win our redemption. So all; throughout the Old Testament, He showed Himself in the lives of God’s people. When the fullness of time came, He was born of a virgin and made like a man. But He came to fight.
Everyday He saw the enemy working, He fought against him. When the enemy brought sickness, He healed. When the enemy bounded, He set free. He rose what the enemy destroyed. And one day the time came for Christ to make the ultimate sacrifice on the cross. He submitted because He understood what war was all about.
Every soldier on the battlefield understands that when you are put on the frontline, you may not make it back. Every soldier in the World Wars, Vietnam and Iraq know this. But when the country calls, they put on their uniforms and go to the battle.
Are you willing to make the sacrifice? Will you take your place in this war for the heart and soul of our nation? It’s time for men to be men and do what we must do to reclaim our nation for Christ.
By: Edmund Brown