The Marriage Journey
Christianity is a journey. It is not a hit and
miss, in and out relationship. When we choose Jesus Christ, we need
to understand that we are in it for the long haul. Hebrews 12:1 says,
"Wherefore seeing we are also compassed about with so great a cloud of
witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset
us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us." These
words let us know that we are not running a fifty yard dash, but rather, a long
distance endurance marathon. Therefore, in order to have good
success, we need to discipline ourselves, and do the things which keep us in
optimal condition.
Since the journey is long and many obstacles are sure to confront us, we will
need love and commitment to make it. Jesus said the greatest of all
commandments was to love the Lord God with all our heart, soul and strength. This
need may not be as obvious when all our prayers are being answered, and the Holy
Ghost thrill has brought on a shout. But in the true life issues
which grind on us daily, wearing and tearing on our patience, love and
commitment to God is a must.
Like Christianity, marriage is a journey. It requires a deeply rooted
commited love in order to make it. This love is not obvious in the
early stages of marriage when the excitement phase is at its peak. It
grows and matures as we deal with the issues we face in surviving the journey.
Take couple number one as an example. They have been married for two
weeks. Every moment is a romantic encounter filled with humor,
embraces and kisses. Everything she says is interesting to him and
everything he says is interesting to her. They are enraptured with
each other, and their relationship is coasting smoothly. There is no
mountain too high and no valley too low that they cannot conquer it together. They
are starting the journey.
Now look at couple number two. The wife has been paralyzed by an
accident or a disease. She cannot walk. Her husband pushes
her in a wheelchair. When they reach the van, he gently picks her up,
and carefully eases her into her seat. He cautiously watches her
flaccid limbs to prevent them from being injured. Once she is safely
strapped in place, he gives her a soft kiss of comfort and reassurance. At
this point, each day is a journey within a journey. Love and
commitment is now as strong as ever.
Like couple number two, the honeymoon is over for many of us. We may
not be fighting sickness and disease, but we are fighting to make it. Many
difficulties have invaded our marriage. It is a journey which takes
us over rough terrain, and it's impossible to make it without love and
commitment.
We need to understand that many of the problems we face in marriage are designed
to drive us into isolation. Instead of couples standing together like
they did when they started, they allow the stress and strain of family life
drive them apart. When that happens, we lose the most vital component
necessary to make this journey. We should never ever allow our
relationship to be driven to isolation, nor should a husband and wife permit
anything to distance them emotionally from one another. Isolation is
a disease that plaques countless thousands of marriages.
So goes the marriage, so goes our relationship with God. It's easy to
love God in the early days of our conversion. He answers all our
prayers and thrills us with His presence. He speaks to our heart all
the time, and there is nothing that we wouldn't do for Him. We see
the sunrise with renewed splendor. Our whole life is so fresh and
meaningful, we tell everyone about it (whether they want to hear about it or
not). We can't live without Him, and if the need arises, we would die
for Him.
But as those weeks turn to months, and the months turn to years, something
changes within us. The excitement of our relationship is replaced
with growing pains. Our enthusiasm erodes, and amidst a tight work
schedule, juggling the budget and rearing kids, it is harder to find quality
time with God. Even when we do find time, we are fatiged and annoyed. The
prayer closet gathers dust. It gets harder to appreciate simple
worship and praise, and seeking God seems to focus on one tragedy after another.
Real life is painful, it's tiring, it's a journey. We wonder whether
or not we have left our first love (see Revelations 2:4)
What is your relationship with God like? Is it an intimate growing
experience filled with wonder, even though you face a cold secular society each
day? Or is it more like a warmed over cup of milk? Has all
the years you have been on the "Lawd's side" made you a humble
obedient Spirit sensitive compassionate forgiving child of God, or are you a
religious pirate ready to cut up anyone having a different opinion than yours? Has
pride replaced love in your faith walk?
May I suggest that you think about this for a moment, and then make a commitment
to walk in higher levels of love and obedience to God. Then let that
love spread to every area of your life.
Do not simply do the things that are convenient to you, and frown upon the
things that require discipline. Submit in your heart to walk in the
will of God beyond any area that you have walked before. Expect a
spiritual awakening unlike anything you have ever experienced before. And
if God shows you a barrier that is blocking your pathway to closer communion
with Him, do not hesitate to tear it down. It may be as simple as
speaking more gently to your wife, or taking more time to listen to and
understand your children. Or it may be as complicated as skipping
certain sites on the internet. Whatever it is, deal with it now.
Why am I telling you this? Because the journey is long, and the way
will not always be easy. But with love and commitment, we can make it
all the way. And that, my friend, begins with you.
By: Edmund Brown
(Inspired by a letter receive from Chuck Swindoll of "Insight for Living" www.insight.org)