It’s OK To Be Single

Most of the entertainment today center around the hero rescuing the beautiful girl and living "happily ever after". Just like in the fairy tales, we look for it, hope for it, and desire it. And it’s not just in entertainment; somewhere in our unconscious person, we believe this.

But it’s a lie. No matter how much the fairy tales and modern entertainment tell us that we are nothing without a companion, I want us to know that it’s OK to be single. We don’t see that message very much in our society. There are singles clubs, dating services and online matchmaking, all telling us that we need a companion in order to have fulfillment. If we aren’t dating, we feel like we are missing life altogether. But that’s not necessarily true.

According to the Apostle Paul, it’s perfectly OK to be single (see 1 Corinthians 7:1, 8-9). In fact, Paul says that in many ways, single is better. Remaining single keeps us from the mega-distractions associated with romance and marriage, and enables us to devote our time and efforts in focused devotion to God. When we are involved in a dating relationship or a marriage, we spend a lot of time thinking about what we need to do for our significant other. Now that’s not a bad thing, but it keeps us from doing other things for God (see 1 Corinthians 7: 32-34).

It’s easy to understand how being single in our society may seem out of place. Even restaurants are set up for couples. My goal here is not to speak negatively against the natural desire for companion. But a relationship isn’t something we should long for until we are ready. We should take full advantage of our single life and concentrate on building up our relationship with God and others. Being unattached is a good thing if we can use that time to strengthen ourselves.

Even if we are already in a relationship, we need to understand that our significant other isn’t everything. We shouldn’t spend every waking moment thinking about that person or trying to be with them. We need to spend time with our family and friends instead of with that person all the time. And if a relationship is keeping us from the things of God, it’s a good idea to re-think the whole idea. When we think that we need to date all the time, we cannot enjoy our singleness.

The Apostle Paul gives us advice to help us out, not bind us down (see 1 Corinthians 7:35). A relationship and eventually marriage is not a bad thing. But we have many more options than that. God wants us to remain open to all of the options.

No matter how much the movies, television and love songs tell us that the only road to happiness is romance, we know that God has a better way. We are made complete in God, and that means it’s OK to be single.

Edmund Brown