Love and Romance

It is no mystery that God wants His children to love others. Love is the standard mode of operation for Christians to follow. It is obvious that married couples should love one another and parents should love their children, but the love that God requires of us goes far beyond that. Love is God's ability that we can choose to draw upon whenever a situation arises in our relationship. It is an awesome opportunity to do a wonderful life changing service to ourselves and someone else. Jesus was so confident of love's ability to give us victory that He instructed us to love our enemies by feeding them if they are hungry and giving them a drink when they are thirsty.

In the world today, love is important in romantic relationships. Love is always a choice based on God's Word. Much of today's entertainment plays around with romance yet make choices based on the political agenda of the producers. Therefore, many of the love stories on television aren't love stories at all.

God is love and He created romance. He recorded many love stories in the bible to assist us in learning the benefits and losses that an individual can experience when making choices under love's influence.

Take Adam and Eve as an example. They were the only couple who can truly say they had perfect love. They had a marriage so perfectly ordained by God, that they didn't need a ceremony or a contract. God created them; they were perfectly compatible and joined together by Him.

When we think of Adam and Eve, we do not usually think in terms of romance. Yet I believe they had the greatest romantic encounters ever known. The very name "Eve" means "life giving one", and when God brought her to Adam, he was spellbound. (You will be surprised at some of the things God can pull out of you if you trust Him.) Eve is traditionally considered the most beautiful woman who ever lived. Even though we can be sure that romance was an intricate part of their relationship, the sustaining power of the marriage was love.

You see, romance is important but it isn't enough. It was love that kept Adam and Eve when they were expelled from the garden. It was love that sustained them when they stood before God and heard what would be the outcome of their wrong choices. Love strengthened them when Cain slew Abel and violence and sin increased all around them. For them, love was a choice based on God's Will. As for romance, they had to work at it.

The first marriage proves that even when God puts us together and gives us everything we can possible need, the potential to make wrong choices exist. But if we stay together, focus on God and keep love's ability alive in our relationship, we will experience success.

I believe that God joined my wife Lindia and me. She is absolutely everything I could ask for in a wife. Sometimes our marriage coast along wonderfully. There is romance, communication and fun. That's a little slice of Eden in a fallen world. At other times we disagree on things. I want to move in a certain direction but she wants to pray a while longer. Often I have lots to do, deadlines to meet and long periods of activity with few breaks. Occasionally, (actually often) I feel tired and annoyed. I need understanding, but Lindia still needs what she gets from me, and Terri needs what she gets from me, and Wandra needs what she gets from me…,…,and… Even K’Lynn, my five month (as of December 20, 1999) recognizes me now. Family life has kicked in full throttle, but even in this thorn-choked world, we know that love and romance is possible if we work at it.

Another love story recorded in the bible centers around Samson and Delilah (Judges 13-16). Samson was about forty years old and had a body out of this world. He had long thick hair he wore braids. He was fairly rebellious, wasn’t afraid to take risk and didn’t mind beating up on people. It is safe to say he was his own person.

Delilah was a beautiful young Philistine woman of about twenty years old. She was self-centered, and her interest in Samson was for her own personal profit. Samson and Delilah’s relationship was based on a romantic attraction. Unfortunately, choices based on romance apart from love are often abused and misunderstood. And the result can cause a lot of hurt and tragedy.

Samson was Israel’s judge. His decisions affected a lot of people. Delilah was in no way compatible with Samson. She was a foreigner, a friend to his enemies, repeatedly lied to him and made no attempt to conceal her selfishness. All she had going for her was physical attractiveness. And yet this powerful man, who single-handedly terrorized the Philistines by God’s anointed power, gave this woman the secret to defeating him.

A decision made out of romance caused Samson to be cut down in the prime of life. We try to encourage youth to slow down when it comes to love. We need to wait until the physical excitement wears off and see how we handle things with a clear head. Relationships built on love involve commitment and trust. Strong attraction cannot produce this; it takes time, effort and sacrifice. Too often, like Samson, individuals play the fool, and allow wrong decisions to turn their greatest strength into weakness.

One last couple I want to look at is Joseph and Mary (Matthew 1-2). We all know that Joseph and Mary were engaged when Mary came up pregnant. But Joseph had been around Mary long enough to establish communication and trust with her. He was trying to think of some way to spare Mary public humiliation when God spoke to him and revealed what was going on.

The beauty of this love story is that God chose this couple before they got married. He didn’t chose a seasoned couple with a proven track record. Instead He picked two hearts joined together by the promise and hope of future love and life together. Joseph and Mary had great obstacles to overcome before they even got married, but love based on God’s Will allowed them to overcome them all.

If you are involved in a romance, whether dating or married for years, the first thing to do is receive God’s love personally. His love is the real thing, and when we base our decisions on His Word, love’s supernatural ability is at work in our lives.