"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" Proverbs 22:6

The episode is familiar and embarrassing. You have witnessed this scene and so have I. A little child kicking and screaming and falling out on the floor because he wants some candy from the checkout counter. The mother tries to ignore him, occasionally threatening a spanking and barely able to complete writing the check for the groceries.

While we may not admit it, we do think it is odd that people are not able to control their kids. I know that children will be children, but I am speaking of outright rebellion against the parent.

Every parent faces the problem of training a child to make right decisions. Our foremost desire is to help them make wise choices that will help them in life. Many times it seems like the task is impossible, but we must ask God's help in managing the growing will of our children.

God has given us a pattern by which to follow in parenting. That pattern is God Himself. God alone is worthy to be imitated. Ephesians 3:14-15 says, "For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name". Our inheritance is rooted in God, He is our Father. We can pattern how we deal with our children by how God deal with us. He has never control or manipulated us. He has never been abusive to us in any way. Even the times we need a spanking, He follows with love and affirmation. No doubt about it, we know that God loves and values us.

We are never supposed to turn our child over to do whatever he wants to do. We are to train that child so that he will learn how to make right choices that are consistent with God's purpose for him.

To begin with, our child will have to respect us enough to be influenced by our opinion. This starts out when he is young and changes as the years go by. We should be close enough to our child to see what his gifts and talents are. Every child has his own particular bent, and helping him to build upon it will greatly increase his self-confidence. A very familiar verse in the amplified bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, (And in keeping with his individual gift) and when he is old he will not depart from it". So here we see how important it is to help a child discover the ways that God has made him special and unique.

A gift is a natural, aptitude or talent. A bent is a personal inclination, a strong liking or favor something. By knowing a child's aptitude and inclination, you can understand the motivation for his actions. This enables you to better help direct his actions from deviant destructive behavior into God's purpose for his life.

This is much more important than having him conform to some image you may have for his future that may not blend in with neither his gift nor bent.

You cannot confess gifts and callings upon your child. If God wants your child to be a preacher, then God will speak to his heart. Your prayer should be that God would use you to help your child discover his place in God.

I do not mean to make such a broad and complicated task appear simple and basic. But I do think it is important to understand and seek God for His plan for our kids. Then once we find it, allow God to guide us in influencing our kids to follow His direction.