The Danger of Isolation

When God spoke creation into existence, over and over again He affirmed His approval that what He saw was good. God has never had a "bad" purpose for anything that He creates. He makes all things beautiful at the appointed time.

But after God created man and saw that he did not have a companion, He said that it was "not good for man to be (exist) alone." So God made a woman (wife) to be a first line physical aid for man in defense against a single-handed existence. He didn't make a woman at the same time He made man. He waited until man went through a period of obedience and growth. When man was ready, He made him a wife and gave her to him.

We need to understand that the woman was not meant to be man's sole cure for isolation, God was. When God created a female counterpart for all the animals, He knew from the beginning that this was something that man would need also. But at no time do we have any indication that Adam fought loneliness and isolation. God supplied all that man needed to the full. Yet the capacity that God put in man to desire love and fellowship needed to be fed and nourished. Therefore, through God, man was given exactly what he needed (a wife).

It is amazing, in our modern day, the great number of people who battle with isolation. The world makes it so convenient to create and live in your own realm of interest. With personal computers, stereo earphones and all kinds of hand held gadgets; it is so easy to retreat into our very own personal space and become pre-occupied for hours. Soon we will discover that we have become so private, that it is actually a struggle to relate to others. We end up feeling alone in a crowd, and relate more effectively with cyber-friends than real flesh and blood people.

Eve wasn't an electronic chat girlfriend who got involved in a cyberspace relationship with Adam. She was a real live person given to Adam by God to keep Adam from drifting into selfishness and isolation. She is famous for causing Adam to eat the forbidden fruit, but no one seems to talk about how she kept the home together. No one seems to care that she was open and honest with God from the very beginning, and that she spoke the word of faith in receiving Seth in the place of Abel, thereby preserving the seed of the Messiah. Eve kept things in perspective, otherwise Adam may not have been able to stop rationalizing the blame for his wrong and accept the responsibility for his actions. Eve was created with special gifts built into her to help make that relationship work. If it weren't for her, there would be no us.

God does not want us so isolated that we cannot be sensitive and compassionate to others around us. We should never be so driven into loneliness, that we forget how special and unique we truly are. It takes purposeful effort on our part to identify the shortcomings in our personality, but we cannot do it alone. This becomes obvious as we relate to others. But when we exist in our own world, we miss so many things that others are able to bring out of us.

Do you know why we need the fruits of the Spirit? We need them to help us deal with others supernaturally. As others observe and experience love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance coming through us, it revolutionizes our life. When witness Christ in the life of a real person, it has a lasting impact on them.

Isolation is unhealthy. It reminds me of the infant that was recently abandoned by her mother. She dropped that day old child in a garbage can and walked away. This seemingly merciless act is really a manifestation of the utter desperation of that young mother, who was too young to deal with the abandonment, isolation and loveless world that she lived in. Think about the hurt that young child will feel as she grows up and faces the pain of her past.

It seems that the innocent suffer most. I recently heard the most dynamic youth speaker ever. She had a very smooth effective way that she captured the attention of the youth as she spoke to them very candidly about their sexuality, and the dangers of wrong choices in this area. She was outstanding. But everyone was shocked when she said that as a youth her mother gave her away. Even though she had now grown up to become a successful professional with a family of her own, one could still sense the trauma of abandonment in her voice.

Abandonment shouts "You're unloved", "You are so worthless", "You are good for nothing and you will never amount to anything." It distorts the present, clouds the past and makes thoughts of the future painful and hopeless. It drives us to isolation and loneliness.

According to Genesis 1:26, we were made in God's image and after His likeness. We all have a place in us that hungers for God. And even though we have the capacity to build beautiful relationships with other people, we should never expect any individual to give us what only God can provide. When we put any individual or object in God's place, that person or thing becomes an idol. At that point, we are in serious trouble. We are pursuing a delusion that promises and will never deliver. It cannot deliver; neither was it designed to deliver. It can only lead us further from God, from the true source of peace and joy in our life. When we embrace things that lead us away from God, we always end up lonely, isolated and void of meaning and purpose in our lives and relationships.

When Jesus walked this earth, He developed a relationship with His disciples. That relationship cemented because both parties expressed genuine love and concern. Before He was crucified, Jesus was very concerned that the disciples continue in their relationship with one another. He didn't want them to drift apart because the further apart we are, the more opportunity there is for "other things" to distance us from one another. Not only did Jesus instruct them to love one another, but He also promised to send them another Comforter (the Holy Ghost) who would never leave them (See John 14-16). He wanted them to know that there would never be a chance of them being abandoned or isolated from His presence. Never.

We have that same assurance today. Once we receive Jesus as our Savior, we are never alone. He indwells us to stay forever, not to go and come. In fact, we are connected to Him just like a branch is to a vine. As we abide in Him and He in us, our life will be full of fruit. He actively adds all we need for spiritual growth, and He takes away everything that hinders us from experiencing His absolute best. It is impossible to be lonely when we are constantly enjoying the favor of God working within us.

I admit that in this life, we face opposition that makes us feel empty. We may often question our worth and purpose to God and others. But no matter how lonely we feel, we cannot shut God out of our life. Many people get addicted to alcohol, drugs and sex because they try to solve their loneliness apart from God. As they become dependent on drugs (especially crack cocaine) and other things, their life spirals out of control and crashes. Life apart from God almost always ends in tragedy.

We must keep God at the center of our lives. If we live this way, we will never lose our focus. God may send us a wonderful wife or husband, but we should never allow them to take His place. There is no person alive, no matter how wonderful they are, that can satisfy all our needs. If we look to a person to bring total fulfillment to us, we are living by a false expectation. We have set ourselves up for failure and disappointment.

God is the only One that can totally satisfy us. When we accept this fact and look to Him for fulfillment, we are placed in a better position to give and receive love from others. Instead of using people as a place to dump our emotional baggage, we will be able to contribute to their lives in a more healthy and wholesome way.

There are countless problems that we will face in this life that only God can fix. No person can deliver us from evil or protect us from the powers of darkness. But the power of God can tear down the strongholds of the enemy. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. And every tongue that rises against you in judgement shall be condemned.

I have learned to never put myself in a position to allow people to depend on me too much for spiritual things. I teach people to go to God for their needs just like I do. God is the miracle worker, not me. God has the answer to the mysteries, not me. I am seeking the same fulfillment that you are.

So let's make God the source of our emotional security. As we grow in confidence, we will be able to share with others what we receive from Him. "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him 1 John 5:14-15.