Recently I took an online survey concerning good parenting skills, and I must say I didn't do too badly. But passing a survey in no way compares with the pressures of parenting. With the obstacles parents face, one would consider it a miracle when parents and children make it through the day without killing each other.

So, in our society, where are the model parents? While I can say that there are many parents worthy of modeling, they will be quick to admit that they are still working, searching and researching in an attempt to keep it all together. With the ever increasing divorce rate, single parent and/or two parents homes, child custody issues, visitation rights and financial hardships, the "strong stable family unit" is a thing of the past.

As long as I can remember, "The Cosbys" have been the ideal family. For years, they have garnered unanimous critical praise. They were the yardstick by which everyone desiring to be a good family used to measure themselves. Think about it, a model, almost perfect family, able to solve any and every problem; a husband and wife who loved each other, and children who got along; not completely perfect, but extremely well, given their age groups.

But, this was television! I'm sure if I asked Mr. Cosby what his real-life family was like, he would quickly admit, "We ain't no Cosbys."

Since the Cosbys’ were a TV family and Bill Cosby was a TV parent, what constitutes being a model parent? Psychologists and sociologists alike, have problems in this area. They will agree that a household that has love, trust, sacrifice, and discipline as its foundation has the best chance of producing good parents and children. Below are some godly (good) instructions I found while researching this topic, and I would like to pass them on to my readers.

1. Discipline wisely and do so in love, (Galatians 6:1)

2. Teach, don't just punish.

3. Set aside quality time with your children now rather than later, they will listen to whomever is speaking (let that spokesperson be you (the Parent).

4. An extremely necessary point and one that lacks in many households is the disciplining of children while they are young. (Proverbs 22:6) They listen better at that age and are more impressionable.

4. Slowly give older children more freedom, but never give up all of your authority. (Kids at every age) needs to know who's boss.

5. Work with your children so you're aware of what they are doing. They may complain, but you are the parent.

6. Do not nag; this was hard for me but I realized that kids become desensitized to constant nagging. Instead of nagging, set deadlines together and when they violate, deliver the consequences (good or bad).

7. Encourage children to work outside the home as soon as possible to encourage autonomy and build independence. By working, children come to appreciate the value of the dollar (especially when that dollar is one they had to work for).

8. An essential piece of instruction is preparing your children for an ungodly world. Provide activities for your children to interact with individuals outside the church family. This will eliminate the "culture shock" many children experience when leaving home for the first time.

9. Allow your children to speak without the fear of being punished or ridiculed. An important tip to parenting is listening, listening, listening. Kids talk in many ways; bad behavior, violence, sex, drugs, and the list goes on and on. So parents please listen!!

10. Encourage and ensure that your children participate in volunteer activities. Too often our children take what we do for granted. Volunteering will help them understand that parenting and looking out for the welfare of another individual is not an easy task.

In all my reading and research, I come to discover that there are no perfect parents except the Father. God is the only model parent. It is He to whom we have to seek for wisdom and instruction. With his aid, we may not be perfect, but we will be better.

Travestine Wright