Be A Parent Worth Modeling

Parents, love your children and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4)

It would be so easy for parents to give their children money and send them on their way. But God commands, in fact, He requires that parents discipline and instruct their children in the way of righteousness. We have a mandate from the Holy One to teach our children in the way they should go, not the way they desire to go.

With family troubles intensifying, discipline problems increasing, and psychologically dependent people coming up through the ranks of the traditional family circle, one can only wonder why God doesn’t come up with a different way of bringing children to maturity than using parents in a home environment.

While most animals mature in a matter of weeks or months, children, if parents are fortunate, take nearly eighteen years to leave. Eighteen years seem like a long time, but when you observe the growing problems occurring with teens at that age, one has to wonder if eighteen is still too soon. Why does it take humans, who have a brain and the ability to comprehend the consequences of good vs. evil, so much longer to mature and gain their independence?

Animals are instinctive beings that grow up and adapt to their environment with very little effort from their parents. Yet humans, who possess a higher intelligence, are more barbaric and inhumane than their animal counterparts. The differences in the behavioral patterns of humans and animals have puzzled scientists and sociologists alike. They have devised many methods to study the actions of the two species, and still to date have no definite conclusion for why humans behave the way they do.

In our society, there are many things that contribute to the molding of a child’s character, but none possess the same degree of influence as his or her parents. Even the writer of Proverbs agree when he warns that a child’s behavior in later life is determined by their early training and experiences (Prov. 22:6).

Our children are what we make them. They are the sum total of what we contribute to their lives. There are instances where children, who are supposedly trained and reared in a loving home, turn out to be hardened criminals. But God assures us that if we train them in the way they should go, when they mature and gain full knowledge of the truth, they will NOT depart from it.

Humans differ from animals because the instincts that animals possess are basically inborn. For humans, life involves far greater things. A child’s intellectual, moral, and emotional character are not instinctive; they are developed and achieved over time.

God, the One who knows all, designed parents to assist children in building qualities that will prepare them to be productive citizens. From the beginning, God devised our world and put laws in place for man to adhere to. If we obey these laws, we live. If we disobey, we bring destruction upon ourselves and death can be a result.

Just as God is our spiritual lawgiver, parents are physical givers of laws. Following God’s example, their jobs are to instruct their children in the way of righteousness, and in doing so, they will bring life to their entire household.

As parents, we have been given the arduous task of preparing our children to lead useful and satisfying lives. The training that we provide will have a lasting effect on them. It will determine the type of employee they become, the caliber of work they produce, the quality of homes they establish, the manner in which they relate to other people, and the genuineness of their Christian experiences. Sounds difficult? Trust me it is. But with God, absolutely ALL things are possible: our children are no exception.

Raising a child successfully demands more than any of our human resources are capable of offering. It requires Godly wisdom, which can only be obtained through a personal relationship with the God of all the world. In a word, if you intend to make it happen, you had better learn to PRAY!!!!!! Through prayer, we acknowledge God who is the only one capable of directing our paths. He, alone, will lead us in the way we should go. He promises to supply all our needs (Phil. 4:19). Trust me, as far as children are concerned, the need is great!

As I grew up and became a parent, I often wondered how an individual would accomplish such a task. I discovered that there are self-help books, which can assist individuals in accomplishing any task they set out to do, but children do not come with instructions.

As I sought help from the task ahead of me, I found it in the book written by the first parent, the Bible. When Jesus instructed his followers to pray, he declared to them when you pray say, "Our Father, which art in heaven." My dear people, parents especially, God is our Father and he knows the burdens parents bare. As a Father, the Psalmist declares that God is " great and perfect in every way." (Psalm 18:30). Just as any father who loves their children, He instructs us to examine His word and learn how He functions as a parent. In doing so, we will know what kind of parents he expects of us.

God is a "Model Parent", and His Word is our parental self-help book. In it, we are taught how to commit ourselves to God and allow him to control our lives so that he can freely give us His wisdom and strength. As the writer of Hebrews declares, "We are to come boldly before the throne of grace so that we can obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need." (Heb. 4:16)

I don’t know about you, but as a parent, I can truly say that raising my children is definitely, "a time of need." I (Need) all the help I can get.

Even when things don’t go well and sometimes they won’t, I can still find encouragement as I read God’s Word. The book of Proverbs has become a premier book for me because in it, the writer gives wise instructions for parents and their children.

Many people fail at parenting because they are attempting it alone. God never expected us to accomplish this task without His help. It is too great!!! He invites us to study His Word because it contains the dynamics for successful parenthood. The Bible is simply God instructing us through his example. In it, he outlines the course we should take, and shows us how parents who followed his example succeeded, and how those who disobeyed, failed; and their children along with them.

I was moved to write this series because of the delicate nature of our homes. We are in a state of emergency! Fathers have abandoned the home, mothers are left wondering why, and our children are killing or being killed. The enemy is waging a war and he is winning! In order to take our children back, we must use violence; not in the physical sense, but spiritual violence: fasting, prayer, supplication, worship, self-denial, and perseverance.

This charge is not just for parents, but aunts, uncles, grandparents, pastors, teachers, etc. We are all in the fight and with God’s help, we will win!

Part II will examine the relationship between God (who is the Model Parent) and those of us who are striving to become one.

By Travestine J. Wright