Talking To Yourself - Part 2
Misbelief Will Keep You In Bondage
"...for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned Matthew 12: 34, 37
We have been talking about making ourselves happier; and how that many of the situations that we blame for causing our misery, may not be as harmful as the things we tell ourselves about those situations. We are actually the blame for most of the torment we feel when we find ourselves in unfavorable situations. And the reason is simple; we misbelieve. In other words, we tell ourselves lies. And the lies that we believe about ourselves are the major cause of our misery.
We talk to our selves all the time. We tell ourselves what we think about
ourselves and other people. We talk about our past, present and future. We tell
ourselves what we think about life in general. We even relate to ourselves how
we feel about God.
Since we talk to ourselves all the time, it is extremely important and vital for us to identify any misbelief. If we could write down what we tell ourselves in one day, it would likely shock us what we have accepted who we are. "Oh dumb me, I did it again. That’s just like me to mess up everything. I would lose my head if it weren’t screwed on."
We may pass these off as harmless words, but many of the people who say these things end up with marriage problems, failed relationship, and constantly battle feelings of worthlessness.
You may say, "Oh I really don’t mean anything by it." Then why even say it. The truth is that the words we speak have a way of catching up to us. In fact, Jesus said that we would give account of every idle word in the day of judgment (see Matthew 12:36). He was not speaking of the Last Day Judgment, but rather of the day those harmless words come back to haunt us.
The words we tell ourselves are so important, that if we tell ourselves something enough times, a circumstance will occur where we will believe those words whether they are true or not. We say, "I always mess things up", and we laugh like it’s a joke. But it’s not funny, because we act like we always mess things up. We freeze up and repress our creativity. We are afraid to take risk so our growth and development ceases.
Listen. It’s impossible to always mess up. Don’t believe negative things about yourself. Don’t think it, talk it, or play with it. If you’re doing, stop immediately. If you think you’re ugly, "Stop It". If you think you’re boring, "Stop It". If you believe you are stupid, dumb and worthless, "Stop It". If you’ve been calling yourself sickly, ("My resistance is so low, I catch everything that comes along") "Stop It!"
Tell yourself, "I’m loved and cherished by the Lord of the universe." "I am unique and beautiful." "God has given me my very own gifts and talents and He will teach me how to express them." "He has blessed me with life, health and happiness." We compare ourselves to others and that’s a big mistake.
When I compare myself to you and we compete, we experience envy and jealousy. I feel deprived and discontented because I don’t have what you have, I am not as special as you are, and I am probably not as loved and favored as you.
No matter what you have, or how successful and smart you are, it’s foolish and useless for me to make myself miserable and overdose myself with envy. My ministry is not like the preacher’s ministry down the street. That ministry may not be what I think it is. I don’t have all the facts. If I’m going to make myself miserable, at least let me get all the facts.
We feel miserable and we think they are happy. "That’s unfair." Lies. Lies. Lies. "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee or forsake thee Hebrews 13:5. If we cannot find worth in who we are and what we have now, we will always be striving for more. We can never enjoy what we have now if we are forever seeking to have. We can never enjoy who we are now if we are forever seeking to be somebody else.
Jesus died for everyone. God doesn’t desire for anyone to perish. That’s because no person is insignificant or unimportant in the eyesight of God. No matter how much I manage to accumulate, there will always be somebody with more than I have. I have a color palm pilot. It was made by Handspring. It’s a bit bulky, but it does everything I need. My co-worker has a Sony. It has color, is smaller, plus it plays music and videos. I am perfectly content with what I have, and I am not the least bit motivated to buy anything else.
Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am Philippians 4: 12-13 Msg.
When you here yourself speaking misbelief about yourself, confront it by saying, "I will not say that, it is not true."
My daughters are young and attractive. Sometimes at home they complain a lot about not having anything to do. "I’m bored". "I’m lonely".
That voice is in their head talking to them. It tells them they are missing life. Their friends have cars and boyfriends, and they have neither. The world is having fun while they have to clean their rooms, wash clothes, and clean the kitchen and bathroom. Often that voice has them anxious and afraid.
Are they missing anything? No. Do they have a reason to feel worthless? No. Should they compare themselves to their friends? No. Do they have a reason to feel unhappy? No.
What is their problem? Misbelief. They are talking to themselves and saying all of the wrong things. They are unrealistic in their expectations. They think their friends are happy, but they really don’t have the facts. Some of their friends have actually said that they would love to have us for parents.
Everybody has unhappiness in life at some point. We all have difficulties to face, problems to solve, and obstacles to overcome. But it doesn’t help to put ourselves down. Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, any praise, think on these things Philippians 4:8.
If you are struggling with yourself, you will struggle with others too. If you are hard on yourself, you will also be hard on others. But when you are satisfied and at peace with yourself, you will show respect and appreciation for others.
Listen to yourself everyday. Write down your thoughts and spoken words. Then see for yourself whether or not your words and thoughts are causing you misery. The key to your happiness begins with you.
By: Edmund Brown