The Lies We Believe About Ourselves

There are so many unhappy people in our society. This unhappiness involves much more than external factors. I can understand despair in a poor person who struggles day in and day out simply to grind out an existence. Surely in such situations, a person would tend to see the bad side of life. Yet I have witnessed misery in the lives of individuals who appear to have it all together.

Jesus declared that by continuing in His Word, we would know the truth. And that knowledge would be a source of continual liberty for us. As we seek to ascertain and walk in God’s Truth (His Word), something wonderful will be at work in our lives. Seeking truth is greater than seeking prosperity or happiness, and it leads to a quality of life beyond all we could ever imagine.

Now if truth leads to liberty and stability, then apparently lies keep us in bondage. I don’t mean the obvious things that we know to be untrue. I mean the lies that are not obvious; the lies we believe without question.

Do we really believe lies? Yes we do. Intellectually and emotionally, we play these lies over and over in our mind like a broken record. Family, friends, society, and even the church casually passed them on to us. And these lies cause us misery and unhappiness, and keep us locked into a vicious cycle of defeat.

So often we blame others for our misfortune, when the true cause is the list of lies we tell ourselves. We are helpless to change many of the circumstances we face, but we can change the lies we believe and overcome the misery they produce.

Have you ever felt like nothing ever goes your way? Have you ever made the statement, "I never get a break"? We all have probably spoken those words at some stressed out point in our life. But if we stop a moment and think about it, we said it because we believe that everything has to go our way before we can be happy. Then when things don’t go our way, it’s somebody else’s fault. Before you know it, we are upset and so full of self-pity that we cannot function. All because we view ourselves and other people through the eyes of these lies.

We also believe that we must have everyone’s love and approval before we can feel good about ourselves. Therefore, we go through life wearing a different mask for every group we associate with. I can tell you from experience that "people pleasing" is the most miserable, frustrating, and burdensome life that we can live. When our self worth is tied to keeping everybody happy, we trap ourselves in a no win situation.

Jesus said that God does not forget even an inexpensive sparrow, yet we are so valuable, that God counts the very hairs on our head (See Luke 12:6, 7). Since God cares so much for us, how senseless it is to put our emotional well being in the hands of people. I believe that is why multitudes of people end up in the hands of domineering manipulative people who take advantage of them. Beneath that beautiful is an anger that grows more intense with every passing second.

The truth is that some people aren’t going to like us no matter what we do. Don’t ever lose yourself in a futile attempt to gain everyone else’s love and approval. Jesus showed His approval of you when He suffered and dies for you on Calvary. "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5: 7,8. That means that we can depend on the love of God to always be there. We can trust Him to understand and stand in the gap for us, even when we’ve made a mess of things.

I know a lot of people who are nice as long as things go their way. But if one thing gets out of line, they go nuts. If the waitress is too slow, the whole meal is messed up. If someone sits in front of them at the movie, they get up and leave. The truth is that things are not always going to go our way. Traffic lights don’t change when we want them to, people talk when we wish they would listen, lines are long when you are in a hurry, and people are rude when you need a kind word.

The "My Way" people think the world evolves around them. This way of life not only makes the person miserable, but it makes healthy relationships impossible. "My Way" marriages cause couples to pull in the opposite direction. "My Way" churches keep pastors and deacons divided. When "I" is greater than "We" in a relationship, it is always somebody else’s fault. Our life would be much better if we learn to be flexible and content, even if things don’t go our way.

Our way of thinking about what is going on in our life is what makes us or breaks us. We cannot pass the buck or point the finger at someone else if we feel unhappy. We need to accept our responsibility for our portion of the misery in our life. If getting in a slow line at the grocery store really upsets us, is it really the line?

If our existence is ever to take on significance, we must believe the truth. God’s Word is the only truth that will give us the balance we need to function in our everyday affairs.