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Godly Discipline

Whom the Father loves, he corrects both in the natural and spiritual realm. God loves us and for that reason, he will correct and discipline us. Although discipline is not comfortable when it is implemented, its results are beneficial.

As godly parents, we must realize that our children are a gift from God and with that gift comes great responsibility. When I see violence like that our country just witnessed, I can't help but wonder where that young man’s life took a devastating turn. Many psychologists will agree that great deals of the behavioral problems we see in adulthood are unresolved childhood disturbances.

Parents, our job to raise children with righteous standards cannot be taken lightly. I write a great deal about discipline and many of you will bore with the repetition, but I must continue to get the message out until we (as parents and responsible leaders) begin to hear and respond. Disciplining children is not about punishing them as much as it is about setting a course by which they can follow. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6. Laying a solid foundation is vital in raising children who are loving, well disciplined and morally solid. The young man who took the lives of his fellow classmates and ultimately his own, lacked all the qualities necessary to function as a normal adult. Only we are reeling in the aftermath. Many argue that society, his parents, the system all failed him. All those things are of no consequence now. A tragedy has occurred, and we must make sure it never happens again. Every law abiding, God fearing believer should stand in agreement that this will never happen again, NOT on our watch.

The Bible offers you and me guidance for self discipline and is flowing with advice regarding child discipline. Since the child psychologists and sociologists are unsuccessful in helping us raise children who are morally disciplined and well adjusted, let’s look at some biblical anecdotes that will surely bring lasting results.

Initially, I said whom the Father loves, he corrects. With this in mind, let's look at what love is NOT. It is not love when we raise children who lack self -respect and the discipline to say no to unhealthy habits. A child who is controlled by his or her desires are not only a danger to themselves, they are a threat to others as well. In this world, hard work and wise decision making are vital. It is unrealistic to expect something for nothing.

In order to succeed, we must be willing to say no to our way and accept God's way of doing things. After all, He promises “our way will be prosperous and we will have good success." Joshua 1:8.

It is not love to allow a child to shrug off responsibility for his or her actions and not accept the consequences. It is also not love to allow children to manipulate, control, or justify his or her disobedience. The recent killer blamed the rich and affluent for his actions. People, not only is this unacceptable in the court of public opinion, it is also unacceptable from a Godly perspective.

Now that we have seen what love is not, let's examine for a moment what biblical love is and how it relates to the proper manner to discipline our children. There were behaviors that many of the killers exhibited long before they committed their heinous acts. Many of us turned our heads. We didn't want to get involved. Attitudes of apathy often lead to heavy hearts. Love is parenting skills that involve active training and participating in every aspect of child rearing. They can't be left to defend for themselves. Our children need our guidance and direction. Love is discipline with consistency. No must always mean no. Parents, we are not here to win a popularity contest, we are here to be positive role models. Our children may not always love us, but they should respect us for being consistent disciplinarians. In order to garner this respect, we must be present, steadfast in our correction and encouraging when and where necessary. The best teachings are by example. Children imitate what they see more than they do what they're told.

To be successful parents and have productive children, we must follow God's pattern (Hebrews 12:5-11). The Word of God is a blueprint for our lives. In it, we have everything we need to know about being loving and responsible. As parents and believers, we must realize that undisciplined children who dishonor their parents will eventually bear heavy consequences for their dishonor and disobedience. Again, I reiterate it is our responsibility to correctly raise our precious children. If we disregard our responsibility to teach them, we are ourselves disobedient children, dishonoring our Heavenly Father. He loves us, as we love our children, and has entrusted us with their care. To discipline is to say no to the ungodly actions we see today and to be the model we wish them to emulate.

Shalom - "Peace" is my prayer for you and for our nation. In His Name.

By Travestine J. Wright