21 Questions

What would fifty cent buy you? Not much. Well that’s OK because this article isn’t about a purchase. Fifty Cent (aka Curtis Jackson) has been deemed "the hottest thing in hip hop since Notorious B.I.G. Growing up on the streets in Jamaica Queens, 50 was raised without a father. He lost his mom (who was found dead under mysterious circumstances) while in his teens, and fell prey to the drugs and violence surrounding him. 50 amassed a small fortune and a lengthy rap sheet.

In April of 2000, he was shot nine times including a .9mm bullet to the face outside his home in Queens. While he recuperated, 50 was dropped from Columbia Records but worked hard and rebuilt his record empire. His big break occurred when Eminem and Dr. Dre called him up and signed him to a joint venture to Em’s Shady Records and Dre’s Aftermath label.

Among 50’s many works is a CD featuring Nate Dogg called " 21 Questions." Although I’m not a big fan of rap, the lyrics to this song made me think. Nate Dogg opens with the questions: It’s easy to love me now. Would you love me if I were down and out? If I fell off tomorrow, would you still love me? If I didn’t smell so good would you still hug me? If I went back to a hoopty instead of a Benz, would you poof and disappear like most of my friends? If I was hit and I was hurt would you be by my side? If it was time to put in work would you be down to ride? We only humans, girl, we make mistakes; to make it I do whatever it takes.

Unlike Nate Dogg, it didn’t take twenty-one questions to get my attention. The opening line was enough to make me stop and think. What Nate was asking his girl is what couples should ask themselves daily.

When two people vow to love, cherish, for better, worse, richer, poorer, what happens when being poorer transcends being richer? What do you do when you are so broke you can’t even pay attention, let alone the house note?

When the person you vowed to love suddenly turns into someone you hardly recognize, what will you do then?

There will be many challenges in life, but the toughest challenge facing couples is endurance. When it really matters, will you be able to weather the storms of life? Individuals enter a relationship filled with joy and devotion. After a few short years, the devotion seems to disappear. Instead of enjoying each other’s company, sports and shopping have become their great pastimes. At the beginning of their relationship, gazing at the stars together was the perfect end to a busy day. Today, it is too time-consuming.

Taking the time to tell your significant other how much you love them, and value their support is not only essential, it is the key ingredient in the recipe of "everlasting love."

Many couples, or people in general, become so preoccupied with the events of the day such as job, school, and children, that they forget what’s important in life. They vow to " forsake all others and keep only to the ones they wed for as long as they both shall live." If this is so, I ask you, what has happened to the life expectancy in relationships?" People seem to have forgotten the single most important thing that once united them. The stars that captivated their attention for centuries appear to have lost their twinkle. As a result, the divorce rate among couples is escalating rapidly.

Many people enter relationships with their own set of ideas and beliefs. When their preconceived ideas are not shared by their mate, they become frustrated and disillusioned. They fail to take in account that these differences are not ingredients for disaster, but attributes designed by Our Creator that makes us unique. In order for our relationships to survive, we must accept our "uniqueness."

I have interviewed couples whose marriages have survived 30+ years, and they all agree that acceptance of your mates’ uniqueness is that piece of the puzzle which makes it complete. They also agree that loving someone means loving the whole person, faults and all.

So, if your relationship has lost its spark and failure seems inevitable, do what smart consumers do, look at the manufacturer’s warranty. His (God’s) products (humans) are skillfully and wonderfully made. His guarantee lasts a lifetime. Seek his instructions and heed his warnings. If you follow his guidance, your relationships will not only stand the test of time, they will endure forever.

By: Travestine Wright